I Ate a Ham Sandwich

Every year since 2013, part of our New Year’s Eve tradition has been reminiscing about the past year via a Mason memory jar full of scraps of paper we’ve kept of all of the year’s highlights. My kids like to keep it light-hearted and silly: Last year (the end of 2018), I unwrapped a slip of paper from our teenaged son that stated “I ate a ham sandwich.” We all had a good laugh at the kitchen table. And so as we wave goodbye to another year, we reflected again on where we’ve been and how far we’ve come. As usual, 2019 was a crazy year of travelling for work and for pleasure. Each year, one of our goals is to visit a new state, and in July 2019, we crossed Minnesota off our list (the kids surprised me the other day and asked me if we could go back again this summer). The kids also visited a new country (Bermuda) and we all experienced a new area of Virginia with a work-related trip to Bristol. 2019 also saw the start of high school for our son (who went quite reluctantly because he had no other choice and then found out he actually likes it, though he won’t admit it) and our daughter earned her second-degree black belt. Truthfully, though, not much has changed since I started this blog back in January 2019 when I turned 41: I’m still dealing with severe allergies and other health issues (although I did manage to lose 12 pounds last year); my kids still fight worse than the Hatfields and McCoys and on our worst of days I still erupt like a volcano and then cry a river of regret after they’ve gone to bed; I’ve lost friendships and jobs, and, although I’ve just turned another year older and supposedly wiser, I am still confused about my life, life in general, and where I am headed next. Most days, I still wake up uncertain about the future, scared for my children, and cranky over my failing body. I stopped with the resolution thing along time ago (Let’s face it. At this point, I am just not going to stop swearing or lose all of the "baby" weight). Instead, I think in terms of goals, either personally or professionally (to write a book or not? That is the question). I don’t have all my 2020 goals fleshed out at the moment, but really, at the end of the day, I just want to figure out how to be a better mom, a better wife, a better friend, a better person. Some days I fail miserably, but I still get up and try again the next day. Here’s to 2020, to another year, to being 21 (times two!), and to making new memories to add to our memory jar.